Would you leave your spouse or partner, if she or he gained some extra pounds?

by Fadi Malouf | Mar 7, 2013 | Health, Motivation, Weight Loss, Wellness

Does “Love Conquers All”, as the famous saying states?

According to the recent two extensive studies it really depends on who answers this question Men or Women. A four year study was published in a Social Psychological & Personality Science Journal and it found that about half of the questioned men (48%) and only 20% of the women would leave their partner or spouse if they gained too much weight. Another source done through a 100,000 + men and women survey on askmen.com came through with pretty much similar results, about 50% of the men surveyed, and 19% of the women surveyed said they would exit the relationship, if their partner packed on some pounds.

Interesting data, isn’t’ it? The researches furthermore explained that the subjects through these studies supported their statements with the following explanation: “If the partner they were with gained noticeable weight, and became heavier then when they met, the initial connection would be jeopardized and quite possibly lost. They would feel less attracted to their spouse or partner and would attribute that to their lack of self-care, responsibility and possible laziness. ” This has definitely caused much controversy regarding the topic, and definitely stirred things up. If  the saying “love is blind” really is put to the test, then when we truly love someone it really shouldn’t matter if they gained weight or not? Should it? With the same analogy, people can meet someone and connect on a different, deeper level than just the physical appearance and may think of their partner as the “best, most attractive, most handsome person around”, whether that is a fact or not.  I recall back to my early adulthood years when I was training extensively and getting into a fitness and bodybuilding arena. I was very body conscious and started competing professionally, yet my love interest at the time was a girl who was size 12, believe it or not! I don’t remember perceiving or seeing her as a size 12, and to me she was the most beautiful girl at the time. Many people may be quite ordinary to others, but to us, they are “the best” as we fall in love with them. So how is it different when our partner changes physically throughout the relationship, does that mean that they change as a person too? And what happens to the saying “love is blind”, as it appears that “love” suddenly isn’t so blind after all?!

Tremendous or just noticeable weight gain affects numerous things. Our energy levels changes. Our personality changes as well. So when someone’s spouse/partner changes physically, do the dynamics between both people change as well? Of course they do and the research shows it doesn’t only have to do with the physical appearance. The spouse who gained weight is often perceived as they care less about themselves, they became lazy, complacent, and have lost their drive. What if they are dealing with a medical issue and their body is experiencing changes beyond their control? Would that change the perspective? According to the research, shockingly, very little! The subjects surveyed and observed stated that they would only consider staying with their partner if they saw a drive and a desire to change. If that drive was not there, they would simply leave their spouse.

It is not a secret that how we take care of our body and ourselves actually shows primarily physically. When we care and take the time to treat our body well, it shows everyday as our body is thankful and healthy. In return, we feel great, look great, have the energy, stamina, can concentrate better on work, different tasks and be around longer for our children, loved ones and ourselves.  So it is our total responsibility not just as an individuals, but a larger community to create a positive and nurturing environment for others to live better, look better and feel better. It is so important to share, educate and inspire one another to make our lives the best that they can be. And without the health and healthy, fit body that is hardly possible.